Friday, June 20, 2008

Bubblegum Card of the Week: Jim Dangle

For every kickass baseball card out there, there are dozens, possibly baker's dozens, of ugly ones. Thank sweet baby Christ then for the Ugly Baseball Card Blog, which inspired this week's entry. It's card #544 from the 1981 Topps set.

Where's your cap, Rich Gale? Don't wanna muss up that blow-dried bouffant?

From Wikipedia:

Lieutenant James (Jim) Ron Dangle (played by Thomas Lennon). A former maitre d' who is the highest ranking deputy and is almost always seen wearing his trademark shorts, which he wears for "mobility." The comedic theme of the character is that he is gay. He openly harbors an attraction to Jones, and occasionally flirts with suspects. In one episode, Jones apparently had sex with him, out of sympathy ("I'll try anything once"), after which Dangle was hospitalized because "He can't fucking walk." (The incident occurs off-camera, with the actual events undisclosed.) Early in the second season, it is revealed that he is married to a woman named Debbie, the heiress of a vacuum cleaner fortune, because she was morbidly obese and he believed she would die soon. After the two separated, she underwent gastric bypass surgery which turned her into "something the old Deb would have eaten," as Dangle put it. The two divorced at her request, because she met someone else, who was also clearly gay. He briefly believed that he had a son (a result of sex with what he thought was a drag queen) but DNA results proved otherwise. Dangle is also the subject of a running gag in which his police bicycle is stolen or vandalized after leaving it briefly. It is hinted that Deputy Travis Junior is responsible for some of these incidents. In "Fireworks", Dangle's age is noted as 41. When held at gunpoint by Mr. Big in Miami (in the theatrical film) and asked for his last words, he replies, "He loved it.", but then wants another chance to say something different, which Mr. Big won't allow because those were his last words. Lt. Jim Dangle's father abandoned his family when he was a child, leaving him alone with his mother who eventually shot herself. Dangle then left to live with his Aunt. Meanwhile, Dangle's father started a new family with an African American spouse. Dangle's father had two more (African American) children who appear in Episode: 505 (Dangle's black half-brother and black half-sister pay Dangle a visit after the death of their father to settle the will, which later turns out to be a bill for the funeral of more than $5,000, and a keychain that the sister gives to Dangle).

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