Monday, January 31, 2011

Stupid Hockey Shit #1

Above, the Avalanche replacing Howler the Sasquatch (left) with Bernie the St. Bernard (right). Below, the NHL replacing its classic shield logo (left) with the new one (right)...

Jaromir Jagr's hair...

Stan Lee's The Guardian Project...

Garish goalie masks...

Kevin Smith...

Slap Shot 2, Slap Shot 3, MVP: Most Valuable Primate, The Mighty Ducks, etc...

A certain hockey mom...

Hockey in the desert...

Ice girls...

And, of course, Todd Bertuzzi ending Steve Moore's career...


***

Labels: , , , ,

Friday, January 28, 2011

Cool Hockey Shit #4

Above, the Original Six. Below, Warhol's Gretzky portrait...

Philadelphia's Broad Street Bullies...

That hot chick on How I Met Your Mother is from Vancouver, and her character often references the 'Nucks...

Johnny Bower's "Honky the Christmas Goose"/"Banjo Mule" single...

Pingu's Ice Hockey...



Coverage by the Onion Sports Network...

Topps' Wacky Packages Hookey...

Playoff beards...

Canada's Heritage Classic...

The classic CCM logo...

The sinister Calgary Hitmen logo...

Don Cherry's Rock’em Sock’em Techno...



And, as always, fights...

***

Labels: , , ,

The Simpsons Meet Bigfoot

The Call of the Simpsons (February 18, 1990).
A near-nude Homer is lost in the wilderness. After bees sting him in the mouth and he falls into some mud, a random photographer in the area mistakes the hollering, mud-caked Homer for Bigfoot. The forest quickly becomes a carnival of souvenir stands, burger shacks, and cardboard cutouts: "Get Your Picture Taken with Bigfoot." Homer is eventually hunted down, tranquilized, and taken to a lab for testing. Upon observation, scientists can't discern if Homer really is Bigfoot, or merely "sub-human." A TV news anchor reports that the photographer "was most impressed by the creature's uncivilized look, its foul language, and most of all, its indescribable stench." After a reporter interviews Marge, a tabloid runs articles with the screaming headlines: "I Married Bigfoot," "Bigfoot's Wife Pleads: 'Call Him Homer,'" and "The Bigfoot Diet: 'Pork Chops Aplenty.'" Here's a clip.

Mr. Plow (November 19, 1992).
We see a brief outtake from an upcoming Fox TV special, "In Search of Bigfoot," which spoofs the infamous 1967 Patterson-Gimlin film. Then we hear the off-camera director yell at the guy in the Bigfoot costume, "Hold it Bob, we can see your wristwatch!" Bob looks down at his watch and exclaims, "Aw, dammit." Here's a foreign-language clip (I think it's Spanish).

Homer Bad Man (November 27, 1994).
Facing sexual harassment charges, Homer appears on the tabloid TV news show Rock Bottom. As an aside, he tells the interviewer, "I saw that report you did on Sasquatch. It was fair and even-handed." Homer later asks the interviewer, "Say, can you introduce me to the Sasquatch? I like his style." Sasquatch never appears onscreen, so no images or clips for this one.

The Bart Wants What it Wants (February 17, 2002).
The Simpson family travels to Canada. A bus pulls into a Toronto bus station, and we see a Mountie, a hockey player, Bigfoot, and then the Simpsons themselves disembark. Here's a clip with some rock soundtrack -- blink and you might miss him.

Spanish Fry (July 13, 2003).
This is actually from an episode of Futurama, but since that series also came from the mind of Simpsons creator Matt Groening, close enough. Anyway, the Futurama gang camps out in Duraflame National Forest. It's a National Bigfoot Preserve, where the park ranger shows them a film short, "Bigfoot: Endangered Mystery." True believer Fry, who calls Bigfoot his hero, is saved by the creature at the end of the episode, just as a space monster is about to chop off Fry's "lower horn." Note that Futurama's Bigfoot closely resembles The Simpsons' Barney. Can't find a proper clip, but take a look at this.
***

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Happy 50th, Wayne!

The greatest hockey player of all time hits the big five-oh today... What a country!

Canada, I mean.
***

Labels: ,

Monday, January 24, 2011

Happy 60th, Yakov!

In Soviet Russia, birthday celebrate you.

Yakov Smirnoff hits the big six-oh today. Since coming to America in the '70s, Bobby Hill's comic idol has done it all: Branson entertainer, beer pitchman, AARP Magazine columnist, schlock artist...

What a country, indeed.
***

Labels:

Cool Hockey Shit #3

Above, Gerry Cheevers; below, Miroslav Satan...

Snoopy...

Snoop...

Stanley's Cup...

The Hockey News...

Boston Garden...

Activision Ice Hockey (and its TV ad starring Phil Hartman)...

Vancouver's Sedin twins...

Vancouver's D.O.A...

Stompin' Tom's The Hockey Song...

Guy LaFleur's disco album (and McKenzie Brothers Molson ad)...

Al the Octopus...

Pond hockey (depicted here on the Canadian $5 bill)...

Tim Horton (and Tim Hortons)...

Johnny Canuck...

The Miracle on Ice...
***

Labels: , , , , ,

Sunday, January 23, 2011

National Park Roundup

Last week's Yellowstone trip got me to thinking about how many of the 58 National Parks I've visited in my life. So... I've been to all three in Washington (Mt. Rainier, North Cascades and Olympic), plus Crater Lake (Oregon), Redwood and Yosemite (California), Zion and Bryce Canyon (Utah), the Grand Canyon (Arizona), and the Grand Tetons (Wyoming)... That's an even ten, all in western states.

My favorite is Mt. Rainier (just 'cause it's the closest one to Seattle, and I could see it every clear day while growing up in Kent). The one I'd most like to visit someday is the Everglades (just 'cause it's the furthest one from Seattle, with probably the most foreign environment from the other parks I've seen).

Almost as much as the parks themselves, I love these posters by Seattle's Doug Leen, based on original 1930s-40s WPA art (I have that Rainier print, above). Here's a flickr set of several such posters, and here's where you can buy 'em.
***

Labels: