Hot Florida Action

Earlier this month I took a weeklong driving tour of the Sunshine State. As I’ve done each year over the last decade, this trip was again motivated by my desire to see major-league ballgames in as many different stadiums as possible. Florida's two -- the Rays’ Tropicana Field and the Marlins' Marlins Park -- are the only ones that remain (not counting a 2009 Wrigley rainout). And, with this new season’s opening weeks overlapping with the final weeks of the NHL’s regular season (along with Florida's not-yet-brutal spring weather), this was the ideal time to go.

Tuesday April 1

On April Fool’s afternoon I touched down in Orlando and picked up my rental car, embarking on my counter-clockwise spin around the state. I first poked around downtown Orlando a bit and then headed over to the Citrus Bowl, where I was surprised to find some serious remodeling underway -- the lower bowl is completely gone, while the upper decks are being preserved (see above -- has this ever been done before?). Afterwards I drove past the bananas-looking Holy Land Experience (I’m an unabashed TBN fan, but there wasn't time to go inside) to the Best Western. Following a constitutional through Downtown Disney, I called it a night.

Wednesday April 2

My first full day started with monorail rides around Epcot Center and the Magic Kingdom, and through the Contemporary Resort hotel. As a kid I was fascinated by my 1973 edition of The Art of Walt Disney, particularly its photo of the monorail passing through the hotel's lobby -- above is my re-creation. Really, the monorail is the only thing I was particularly interested in seeing in Orlando -- I actually once did a monorail zine (scroll to the bottom of that link), so I was excited to finally experience it firsthand. And I was delighted that it was free, ‘cause I didn’t wanna pay the crazy admission fees to any of the Disney theme parks. Still, I couldn’t help but feel like a creepy weirdo -- a middle-aged man visiting Disney World alone, riding the monorail around in circles...

Anyway, I got my kids a Goofy doll, though their favorite toy at the moment we call Duck Duck. So it was an amusing coincidence that I came across Duck Duck Express as I arrived in Tampa that afternoon...

Lunch was a deep-fried alligator tail sandwich at Skipper's Smokehouse, a combination restaurant/caterer/music venue/talent agency. The little fried gator chunks satisfied my hunger for offbeat local cuisine, tho' it was nuthin' special... Next stop was Steinbrenner Field, the Yankees' spring training home, which I found bigger and nicer than most Triple-A minor-league parks I’ve seen. (I snapped a photo of some Ichiro jerseys for my other blog.) From there I drove past Raymond James Stadium (home of the NFL’s Buccaneers) and through historic Ybor City before crossing Tampa Bay into St. Petersburg. I’m not the gambling type, but I put $5 down on Flying Thor to win the 14th race at the Derby Lane dog track. Both of us lost.

After checking in at the Ponce de Leon, I met my old Portland pal Jay outside Tropicana Field, where we attended that evening’s Tampa Bay Rays/Toronto Blue Jays game. No, Jay didn't root for the Jays, as he's fairly indifferent about sports in general. He was far more impressed by the rays petting tank, which I enjoyed as well -- they’re slimy! As for the domed, fake-grass "field," well, it wasn’t that horrible, certainly better than the ghastly Kingdome I grew up with. For the record, the Jays won, 3-0.

Thursday April 3

After morning stroll around downtown St. Pete and along its pier, I drove across town to the church that looks like a chicken. I saw it on some blog somewhere like a year ago, and made a note to check it out. Sure enough...

I headed south across the beautiful Sunshine Skyway Bridge to Bradenton (where I was unable to finish a fantastic, big-ass pork sandwich at Jose's Real Cuban), then further south to Sarasota to meet up with Jay again, along with his gf Laura. They took me to their favorite local dive, then we carpooled back up to Tampa for a Lightning/Flames game. Jay dug the hockey more than the baseball, probably 'cause of the cool tesla coil that they fire up whenever the home team scores (it happened just once that night). For the record, the Flames won, 4-1.

Friday April 4

We discussed a longish drive north to see the Weeki Wachee mermaids, but decided it was too far away. Instead, Jay and Laura took me to Siesta Key Beach. It claims to be the best beach in America because its cool white sand doesn’t scorch bare feet. (In fact, it was rated #1 by Dr. Beach in 2011!) Lunch follwed at Marina Jack, a waterfront restaurant where I had the grouper sandwich (good call, Jay!). After saying our goodbyes, I hit the road for the four-hour trek through Alligator Alley to Miami. I made my way to my hotel, situated in an industrial area on the Miami River between the airport and a jai-alai arena -- more on that later. For the record, there were no sports balls games tonight.

Saturday April 5

I wheeled through Little Havana to Marine Stadium (above), a rad-looking grandstand once used for viewing water sports. As it's now abandoned and crumbling, I had to sneak through a hole in a chain-link fence to get inside. The place smelled like piss and trash and decomposing flesh, partly due to a giant dead seabird rotting in the seats. Along with the garbage and broken glass, it was plastered with graffiti, some of which was being applied during my visit. Sadly, I couldn't see the entire amazing structure from a distance, ‘cause it’s surrounded by overgrown foliage and water. Still, the vandalism was unexpectedly impressive...

Then I hit Miami Beach, where all kinds of folks were hanging out, frolicking in the waves, getting tans/burns/cancer/etc. I’m not big on beaches, but I enjoyed wading through the surf.

Later I used Decobike (pretty much the same smart bike-rental system I’ve used in Minneapolis, Washington and Toronto) to pedal north to the historic Fontainebleau Hotel (as seen in Goldfinger and Scarface) and back down to the southern end of the beach, checking out the cool art-deco buildings all along. The best meal I had on the trip was at the iconic Joe's Stone Crab – their signature item was far too expensive, so I settled for a crab roll and key lime pie -- dee-lish.

That evening I visited Marlins Park for a game against the Padres. It's the newest MLB stadium, and the final one of 30 current ballparks that I’ve now visited. The venue is huge, ultra-modern, and frankly, a little sterile. The big tropical fish tank behind home plate looks cool, but unfortunately it's only accessible to that section's ticket holders. For the record, the Marlins won, 5-0.

Sunday April 6

I had a little extra time this morning before stuff opened, so I took an unscheduled trip on the Metromover. It’s a free shuttle, whose rubber-tired cars run on a short, narrow circuit a few stories above downtown Miami. Then I made it back to Casino Miami Jai Alai for the matinee program. What I imagine was once a classy gambling palace in the ‘60s now seemed kinda run-down and seedy. The actual sport is something I’d always been curious about, and it comes up on about every fifth crossword I do. So I read up on the sport on my phone while the action played in front of me -- it seems somewhat like raquetball, only with a far bigger court, helmets, and no fourth wall. If Seattle had jai-alai, I'd become a fan.

After an hour I headed north, past Sun Life Stadium (home of the NFL's Dolphins), to Sunrise, home of the NHL's Panthers. It seems insane to have a major-league hockey in subtropical suburbia, just a slap shot away from the vast Everglades swamp. But hockey is cool anywhere, and this game (vs. Dallas) brought my hockey-arena count to seven. (I have no immediate plans to hit all 30 NHL arenas, but it’s as good an excuse to travel as any.) For the record, the Panthers won, 3-2.

Monday April 7

First I drove into the Everglades to the Sawgrass Recreation Park, where noisy airboats zip tourists around to gawk at alligators. Sadly, none were spotted on my half-hour ride, but as a consolation prize, they have some gators in captivity in their little zoo. (That's where I photographed the totem pole detail at the top of this post.) They even let you hold baby gators, which I would’ve loved, but time was tight and I had to scoot...

Then I had a gyro lunch at Bigfoot outside Fort Lauderdale, though the only reason for this stop was getting a picture for my Bigfoot is Real page...

The gyro fortified me for the three-hour drive up to Kennedy Space Center, where I saw the Space Shuttle Atlantis, along with a bunch of cool-looking rockets in the "rocket garden." I tried my best to replicate the cover photo of Cats and Dogs, my favorite Royal Trux album. A few steps to my right (plus a fisheye lens) would've nailed it.

Finally, it was back to the Orlando airport and a bumpy flight home, taking with me blistered feet and a sunburn as souvenirs.

Florida isn’t as fucked up as you’d think, but I was only there for one week – Jay thinks all that sun makes people there insane. Still, I saw some obnoxious truck accessories, like Ben-Hur chariot spikes and Confederate flags. On the other hand, I didn't see any flamingoes, manatees, or cocaine.

Whatever. It'll all be underwater in a few decades.
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I Can't Quit You, Quatchi! #5

Hard to believe it's been four years since Eliza and I began Quatchi Watch, our blog celebrating the cool Sasquatch mascot created by Meomi for the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics. (Quatchi's co-mascots Miga, Sumi and Mukmuk made guest appearances too.) And it's been well over two years since I've had any Quatchi news on my personal blog. So, with the 2014 Winter Olympics now in full swing, it's high time for another Quatchi update...

Our biggest Quatchi scoop came from poking around the Museum of Vancouver's searchable online database -- he was originally named Zooni (!?!), he had no feet, and his brown, ovoid nose was instead represented by a pair of tiny nostrils, as seen up above... Below, Zooni sports eyebrows as well, something Quatchi never had...

This next one shows how Mukmuk (not Miga) seemed to be Zooni's original partner in crime...

As for the Quatchi we've come to know and love, here's a blurry color guide...

Going back even earlier is this preliminary Zooni/Quatchi sketch...

Typing "Quatchi" into the Museum of Vancouver database search returns 211 results, a big chunk of which are collectible pins. Says the MOV: "We have become well versed in the surprisingly elaborate backstories of Quatchi, Miga, Sumi, and Mukmuk. This is in addition to charting their evolution from simple line drawings to 3D renderings to officially licensed Olympic merchandise and full-sized costumes." I found these two...

The detailed physical descriptions in those costume links are particularly interesting -- I'd love to see a Quatchi "Bound Costume Performance Manual"... The larger-than-life-sized mascots also wore this hockey jersey (follow the link to see the accompanying goalie stick and pads)...

One of the Quatchi costumes, as well as those of Miga and Sumi, were on loan to Vancouver's BC Sports Hall of Fame when I visited in February 2012. Here we all are...

Elsewhere in the Quatchi-verse, the handful of other Quatchi-related sites and blogs have mostly petered out, save for QuatchWatch, where Sammers and her fuzzy companions continue to travel everywhere, bake up a storm, and explore their Toronto home, like at this David Bowie art exhibit...

Quatchi also still appears in regular comic-strip form on the Homeless Quatchi Project, a site that raises awareness about Vancouver's homelessness problem. For whatever reason he's blue instead of brown, maybe because he's cold. Here's a sample...

And a cool .gif...

On TV, our favorite masquatch (to coin a portmanteau) was mentioned in an $800 answer on the November 9, 2011 episode of Jeopardy!... Spoiler alert! The contestant got the correct question -- see for yourself at the 6:37 mark in this video...

Check out this faux horror-movie trailer for Quatchi and the Ghost, featuring a killer homemade costume...

And here's a very short computer animation of Quatchi moseying along...

The most expensive Quatchi item currently on eBay is this four-foot fiberglass figure, listed at $19,999 (plus $799.99 shipping)...

That's about it for now. For those catching up, here are my previous Quatchi updates, from February 12, 2011, February 28, 2011, June 6, 2011, and November 27, 2011, as well as everything on my blog with a Quatchi tag. As usual, there's always more Quatchi stuff to be found on flickr, Pinterest, Pingram, Tumblr, YouTube and so forth. Finally, there's this Facebook page called Long Live Quatchi, which pretty much says it all.
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Happy 33rd, Sedins!

Creepy Canuck twins Daniel (L) and Henrik (R) hit the big three-three today.

Hockey season starts next Thursday Tuesday!
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Toronto, Part 2: The Rest of It

I went to the Blue Jays/Yankees games in Toronto last Monday and Wednesday, while skipping Tuesday’s game (Ichiro didn’t play in that one anyhow), bringing the number of current stadiums I’ve attended a game at to 27. That leaves only Miami, Tampa Bay, and Wrigley, where in 2009 I sat in the stands during a long rain delay before the game was officially postponed, so that one doesn’t count.

These were the first MLB games I've seen on fake grass since the Mariners ended their run at the Kingdome in 1999. Rogers Centre (née SkyDome) is one of last of those circular, symmetrical, artificially turfed stadiums, though its retractable roof pointed to future stadium design. Besides the ballpark, I never liked the Jays either, mostly 'cause they began play the same season as the M's, 1977. In that time, Toronto has won two World Series titles, while the M’s have never even made it to the World Series. Also, the blue-blooded, all-American, flag-waving yahoo in me thinks it’s lame to have a major-league team outside the US... Here's Ichiro in centerfield, or what would roughly be the 20-yard-line if the field was situated for the CFL's Toronto Argonauts...

Still, Toronto loves the Jays, and there's apparently little interest in replacing their dumb stadium with something less bland and more up-to-date. For the record, the Jays beat the Yankees in both games I attended, 5-2 and 7-2, and Ichiro was 1-for-8 in the series.

Apart from baseball, I hit Toronto's hockey highlights, beginning with the Hockey Hall of Fame. The amount of jerseys, sticks, pucks, trophies and other memorabilia was overwhelming, but in a good way. Above is a closeup of the original Stanley Cup, with the etching "Seattle World's Champions Defeated Canadians 1917." Below is an old Seattle Metropolitans sweater...

Elsewhere, I walked around the newish Air Canada Centre and the old Maple Leaf Gardens, respectively the current and former homes of the Toronto Maple Leafs. The latter has since been converted into a smaller college hockey arena on an upper level (there was practice going on when I wandered inside), and a big grocery store on the main floor. On aisle 25, next to the cans of tuna, is a spot marking centre ice in its former days. Here it is, with my feet...

At the city's Reference Library I looked up some Evel Knievel-playing-hockey articles, and at various shops I picked up some hockey-related trinkets for friends (my own souvenir is a T-shirt with this sweet Penguins logo). The only bad hockey-related experience I had was at Wayne Gretzky’s sports bar -- the “Great One” burger (with a “99” seared onto the bun) tasted like a hockey puck, and the service sucked ass.

Far better was Shopsy’s and their killer corned beef sandwich, rivaled only by Dunn’s pastrami sandwich -- I call it a draw. Smoke’s Poutinerie had a food truck at Sunday's Riot Fest (see previous post), and I enjoyed their pulled pork poutine so much there that I had another one a few days later at one of their storefront locations. My pie at Pizza Pizza was so-so, and I never did make it to Don Cherry's Sports Grill. All along, I pretty much ate my own weight at various Tim Hortons -- I love that they have a Blue Jays donut...

Like I've experienced in other cities in recent years, Toronto also has a sensible public bike-rental kiosk system, here called Bixi. It got me around to lots of other places, like the CBC museum, The Beguiling (a comics shop where I picked up Adrian Tomine’s latest Optic Nerve), Honest Ed’s (a crazy discount emporium where I got some baby bibs) and Ella+Elliot (a high-end baby store where I got some little utensils). Here’s El Mocambo, where the Stones recorded side three of Love You Live in 1977.

As a lover of observation decks, I was stoked to go up the CN Tower, which until 2008 boasted the world's highest observation deck. At 1,467 feet, it's nearly two-and-a-half Space Needles tall! Aesthetically, the CN Tower has got nothing on the Needle, but even with some distant haze, the view was phenomenal (see the photo at the top of this post). Here’s a shot looking straight down at the Rogers Centre (with its roof closed, obviously)...

And here are my feet again, standing on a glass floor at the 1,122-foot level...

I hit one other observation deck on my trip, the Space Needle-esque Skylon Tower, 80 miles away in Niagara Falls (I rented a car that day). The falls themselves are impressive, despite the unchecked tackiness surrounding them -- myriad casinos, tourist traps, Jimmy Buffet’s Margaritaville... Here's my token Niagara Falls shot...

While in town I visited an unofficial Evel Knievel Museum, where they have one of Evel's test Sky-Cycles, as well as lots of other motorcycle displays, Nazi stuff (!?!), and for some reason, a bunch of Dan Aykroyd memorabilia. There wasn’t much in the way of Evel’s personal possessions, just a bunch of mass-produced toys and photos and such, all fading under fluorescent lights. They didn't have my book, but they did have a shooting script of the movie based on my book, with my name on the cover...

So, Toronto. My lifetime experiences in Canada have mostly been limited to several trips to Vancouver and Victoria, so in my mind that's what Canada is supposed to "be like." Strangely, Toronto felt less like Canada to me and more like Chicago, in terms of size, scenery, and climate... Incidentally, on my way to T.O. (that’s what the locals call it!), I changed planes in Calgary, bringing my provinces-I’ve-visited count to three: I’ve been to British Columbia countless times, I made a quick spin through Windsor, Ontario in 2008, and now Alberta. Cool.
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Toronto, Part 1: Rock 'n' Roll

Just returned from six days in Toronto, a city I'd never been to before, as part of my ongoing quest to see all 30 MLB teams play in their current homes. I chose an August Blue Jays/Yankees series, mainly so I could see Ichiro. Shortly after booking the trip -- holy shit! -- the Replacements announced they'd play their first show in 22 years, in Toronto, the very day I'd be traveling there! So, for $200, I moved my flight up a day and got myself a concert ticket. Altogether a bit costly, but the Riot Fest would also include supporting acts Iggy and the Stooges, Dinosaur Jr., Rocket from the Crypt and Best Coast. I don't like big, daylong, outdoor festivals, what with the crowds, the elements, lots of waiting around, the abbreviated sets, and so forth. But still!

Here are some shitty iPhone pics along with my take on the various sets...

Best Coast (above) was okay -- I really dig their albums, but after seeing them in Seattle last year, I didn't feel the need to ever see 'em again.

I also saw Dinosaur once before, in 1993, without Lou Barlow. It was great to finally catch their original lineup in action. They played a solid career-spanning set, though I wish it included “Little Furry Things.” I wore earplugs.

Also in ’93 was the only previous time I’d seen Rocket from the Crypt, in their hometown of San Diego where I was living at the time. They’re the kind of band I tried getting into but never really could, and their Toronto set didn’t change that. Though I did appreciate that they played “Born in ’69,” because I was.

The earplugs went back in for Iggy and company. I’d seen Iggy solo a couple times in the ‘90s, and then in the reformed Stooges in 2005, with brothers Ron and Scott Asheton, plus Mike Watt on bass. Ron has since died, and due to a stroke, Scott was replaced by some guy named Toby Dammit on drums. Watt still played with them, along Funhouse-era saxman Steve Mackay. Best of all, Raw Power-era guitarist James Williamson was in the lineup, killing it on the title track, “Search and Destroy,” “Your Pretty Face Is Going to Hell,” plus some tunes from the Iggy/ Williamson album Kill City. My favorite song of the set, which I never expected to hear, was “Cock in My Pocket.” On the other hand, they wasted precious time with three relative stinkers from their mediocre new album.

Honestly though, while all those other bands played, I was looking ahead in anticipation of the Replacements.

Finally, the 'Mats took the stage right on time for a kickass 23-song, 75-minute set. Paul Westerberg and Tommy Stinson were the only original members -- Josh Freese (who I’d last seen as Devo’s drummer in 2011) replaced Chris Mars, and some other guy filled in for guitarist Slim Dunlap (who, like Scott Asheton, also suffered a debilitating stroke). For those keeping score, Dunlap replaced original member Bob Stinson, Tommy's older brother, who was kicked out of the band in 1986 and died nine years later.

Well what about the tunes? They opened with "Takin' a Ride," covered Chuck Berry’s “Maybelline” and Sham 69’s “Borstal Breakout," and played three songs from my favorite-ever album Pleased to Meet Me, including album opener/show closer “I.O.U.” (Before the song, Paul said that he once asked Iggy Pop for an autograph, and Iggy wrote down what became the song’s chorus: “I.O.U. nothing.”) Plus lots of other faves: "Color Me Impressed," "I Will Dare," "Bastards of Young," etc. For the encore, Paul came out wearing a Montreal Canadiens sweater, getting some good-natured boos from the Toronto crowd. Two songs later and they were gone, leaving me thrilled by what I just witnessed.

But that wasn't the end of it. By coincidence, the next morning I took a shortcut through the lobby of the Royal York Hotel on my way to the Hockey Hall of Fame, only to discover Tommy Stinson waiting around with his bags, looking like he just checked out. I went up to him and said, “Hey, Tommy, great show last night!” He thanked me, we shook hands, and he agreed to a photo...

Cool! Then he walked outside. I sat for a minute, and it occurred to me that Paul must be nearby, so I went outside too. Sure enough, there he was with Tommy and some roadies, looking like they were all waiting for a lift to the airport. I repeated the scene with Paul: great show, handshake, photo...

I added that I got choked up the when they played “Alex Chilton” the previous night, seeing as how Paul's idol died in 2010. During the song, I noticed Paul glimpse skyward as he sang the line “If he died in Memphis, wouldn’t that be cool?”, though Chilton actually died in New Orleans. (Paul's touching New York Times memorial to Alex appeared shortly afterward.) Then, as a sort of tossed-off "see ya," I wished Paul good luck, and continued on to the Hall of Fame. It quickly occurred to me that it was kinda like the line in "Alex Chilton" where Paul describes his first meeting with Alex in New York: "Feeling like a million bucks, exchanging good lucks, face to face." Maybe it was a subconscious thing on my part.

Anyway, my Toronto trip peaked early, but the rest of it was good too. I'll post the other highlights soon.
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