Now I've Seen Everything #16: Korean Baseball Fight

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Now I've Seen Everything #15: Buttafuoco Kid Sings "Nu Thang"

Thanks to commenter Marco... Now playing at Christian Nightmares!
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Now I've Seen Everything #14: DC Talk

For this special Easter edition of NISE comes DC Talk -- Decent Christian Talk -- kickin' it old school. This made Baby Jesus shit the manger.

From FourFour via Everything is Terrible! via Christian Nightmares.
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Now I've Seen Everything #13: The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger

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Now I've Seen Everything #13: Slayer Xmas House

This is fucking killer. Here are the lyrics, if you want to sing along:

Trapped in purgatory
A lifeless object, alive
Awaiting reprisal
Death will be their acquisition

The sky is turning red
Return to power draws near
Fall into me, the sky's crimson tears
Abolish the rules made of stone

Pierced from below, souls of my treacherous past
Betrayed by many, now ornaments dripping above

Awaiting the hour of reprisal
Your time slips away

Raining blood
From a lacerated sky
Bleeding its horror
Creating my structure
Now I shall reign in blood
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Now I've Seen Everything #12: The Bill Wyman Metal Detector

As if we needed any more convincing that former Rolling Stone Bill Wyman is completely lame (see Mandy Smith, (Si, Si) Je Suis un Rock Star, this, and I haven't even started Stone Alone yet), here comes the Bill Wyman Signature Metal Detector... "Come and join Bill Wyman in the greatest hobby on Planet Earth"... No thanks.

Possibly the silliest endorsement since James Brown Cookeez.
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Now I've Seen Everything #11: Seattle Seahawks Forest Face

Worried that you're not showing enough team spirit?

Worried that your tree isn't showing enough team spirit?

Well, your worries are over, thanks to the creepy/stupid line of Forest Face, uh, tree accessories...

"Decorate your favorite tree with team spirit by showcasing this officially licensed team forest face. The weather resistant resin face features a cap that is adorned with the official team logo."

No wonder the the terrorists hate us.
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Now I've Seen Everything #10: Goat Yelling Like a Man

He teams up with Usher here.

I'd like to see him in a skull mask.
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Now I've Seen Everything #9: The UroClub

Buy it here.
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Now I've Seen Everything #8: HOV Dummies

My heart swells with regional pride over these specimens of NW DIY ingenuity. The above was nailed on Highway 167 in January 2008; below, busted this past Wednesday on I-405.

Perhaps not the most original idea in the world -- weaseling into the diamond lane with a homemade dummy riding shotgun -- but the results are nonetheless amusing.

Is this simply bucking the system? Or outsider art? You be the judge.

12/9/10 UPDATE

This guy, caught last month on Route 167, ain't even trying...

4/21/11 UPDATE

Another guy pulled over on Thursday in Kirkland...

Said the offending motorist to the WSP trooper, “Sir, I have no excuse.”

5/4/11 UPDATE

The WSP nabs a guy in Federal Way with an inflatable sex doll...

Thanks David!

1/5/12 UPDATE

Just after 7:30 p.m. on Dec. 20, a trooper stopped the driver of a silver Mazda for driving at 82 mph and making several unsafe lane changes on northbound Interstate 5 near 272nd Street, the State Patrol said. The trooper noticed that a “passenger” in the car was actually a plastic skeleton in a hooded sweatshirt. At least the skeleton was belted in. The driver was ticketed for speeding, unsafe lane changes and an HOV violation.

4/4/12 UPDATE

A tip o' the HOV Dummies cap to George Buford for this one...

The North Seattle Community College hoody is a nice touch.

10/24/13 UPDATE

Dummy-spotter extraordinaire George Buford strikes again, sharing this one posted today on NWCN's Facebook page...

The bad wig gave it away! WSP Trooper Mark Francis gave a carpool lane violator a ticket this morning near Everett, WA for having this dummy in his passenger seat. Apparently, the driver called her "Mr. Safety."

10/25/13 UPDATE

The Seattle P-I lists a bunch of recent Seattle-area HOV dummies, included many of the ones above -- link.

12/19/13 UPDATE

Buford once more, finding this one KING 5's Facebook page...

At least he's not a total dummy... this fake passenger wore a Seattle Seahawks hat. (However, the driver got a ticket for abusing the carpool lane.) Photo: WSP Trooper Chris Webb

2/13/14 UPDATE

Washington State Patrol Trooper Chris Webb tweeted the above photo, commenting: "Today, Trooper Nazariya stopped an HOV violator SB I-405/160th. The passenger was quiet and didn't move a lot..."
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Now I've Seen Everything #7: Monkey on a Segway

Via Japan Probe.
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Now I've Seen Everything #6 Redux

Once again, the Cat With No Face!
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Now I've Seen Everything #6: Cat With No Face

Here's his blog.
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Now I've Seen Everything #5: Pig in Boots

Story.
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Now I've Seen Everything #4: Ski Dance

From the 1987 stinktacular Fire and Ice.
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Now I've Seen Everything #3: Creepy Gnome

Read the story, watch the video here.
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Now I've Seen Everything #2: Baby vs. Cobra

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Now I've Seen Everything #1: Bam Bam Bhole

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